The (ridiculous) Power of Fear

I don’t mean to post so much. Really, I should be enjoying my non-baby life with Don while I can, especially on a free Saturday night. And maybe it’s hormones I don’t fully understand quite yet. But I am one scared momma-to-be.

Don and I had a relaxing day today… went to a new grocery store that opened up by our house, had a quick trip to Costco and then came home and vegged and napped and vegged and napped. I spent most of my day on the couch, blankets and pillows abound, laptop in, well, my lap, trashy reality television to keep me company and dogs carefully snuggled as close to me as possible. While this sounds nice and what should be relaxing, why did I spend my day researching how difficult it will be to be a mom of twins?  All while Don is looking up new pancakes at IHOP and oohing and ahhing over those like NOTHING is going on in our world to be worried about. Is this just hormones?

I don’t want to say that I don’t want twins. I feel especially blessed and have a zillion reasons why I should be excited, but I can’t help but put all the reasons why I shouldn’t be excited first. Will I ever get to leave the house, comfortably, once the babies come? I think about spending the next however many weeks feeling fat, sick, tired and scared. I think about how it will never be just one sick kid, but two, and not one diaper to change or one baby to feed or one colic-y child to soothe back to sleep.  And what about all the things we’ll need… two cribs, two highchairs, twice the amount of diapers and formula and clothes and toys and so on and so on? How am I supposed to deal with all of this while trying to run a company from a home office?

Someone, please, just tell me this is pregnancy hormones at their finest. I know I sound ridiculous. Just need to kinda get used to this whole having insta-family in a few short months. And breath.

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4 thoughts on “The (ridiculous) Power of Fear

  1. Hormones – they are a beast!!! Things will be so awesome and you will be a great Mommy!! Since you are having twins first you won’t know anything different. It will all come very matural to you. And you have a super loving husband who will become a super loving Daddy at the same instant you become a super loving Mommy. Wish you could have been at the Otto picnic yesterday to see Kim and Bob’s 9 month twins in action. Buck and Linda got their first lesson in Twin Grand-parenting. Really those babies are so adorable. Kim and Bob are doing an amazing job. Just taking it as it comes. I’m hoping you are feeling better today. Just don’t forget there are tons of people who love you and would lend an ear any time you need. That’s includes me – call any time!!! The latest pictures are fabulous. It’s just so amazing what they can do now. Love to you two. Auntie Mary

  2. Hormones are a lovely thing lol! and here are my comments in response to yours. While I’m not a mother of twins, I am a mother of two. I can see many advantages to having two the same age, including 2 years of diapers, not 4….”Will I ever get to leave the house, comfortably, once the babies come?” LOL! I’m not sure that it is an easy task sometimes with one HOWEVER you WILL do GREAT! You will figure out ways to plan and organize that will work for you and it will be just fine, I promise. “I think about spending the next however many weeks feeling fat, sick, tired and scared.” Fat Smat! Eat, smile and dream about what the future holds. 🙂 “I think about how it will never be just one sick kid, but two, and not one diaper to change or one baby to feed or one colic-y child to soothe back to sleep.” Sick part doesn’t matter whether its twins or just two. That’s a bummer part of it BUT when the second one gets what the first one had, you know what it is. Or if one gets sick you know whats coming and can plan ahead. And not all babies have colic. You and Don will figure out the sleeping and feeding schedules. There are two of you and two babies…it will work out just fine. ” And what about all the things we’ll need… two cribs, two highchairs, twice the amount of diapers and formula and clothes and toys and so on and so on?” Hellloooooo…..Baby Shower! And maybe keep a list somewhere (on this blog or a fb page?) of things you guys find and other things you guys are looking for or need. Hand me downs for baby stuff are generally like new. “How am I supposed to deal with all of this while trying to run a company from a home office?” I meant to tell you the other day about Massimo’s secret past. He used to be a graphic designer at Quad Graphics and is (was) a photo shop wizard! If you ever need help with that sort of stuff, I think he would be happy to help. While he hasn’t done it much in the past five or so years, I think there is some stuff that is like riding a bike that he would surely remember right away. And if there is anything i can do, just let me know. Overall…you have MANY family and friends close by (Elmwood Park hint hint) that are overjoyed to help you! 😉

  3. You sound like you had too much time to think yesterday LOL… I find it amazing when we do have time to relax and enjoy we spend time worrying about the things that have not even happened yet. I think it’s that Jewish blood:-) The only advice I can give you is that it will ALL work out! I promise. You will be a great mom to the twins. Everything will come naturally. You will also have lots of family support. Love you, Aunt Diane:-)

  4. You are all absolutely correct! Yes, I did have too much time to think yesterday and it is definitely the inherited Jewish worry I need to overcome! Not to mention I KNOW how much this family loves us and how much I know we can depend on all of you, just like you can us. There will be good days like there will be bad. Today, I do everything to get my mind off the bad and will focus on all the possible good things to come! Love you all!

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