So, obviously the shock of having twins was a bit much for me. I feel almost embarrassed that I was so scared, or am scared or will be scared. I’ve wanted kids for such a long time and even before I pictured myself a wife, I always envisioned being a mom. It has always been a no brainer for me that kids would be my ultimate ambition in life, no matter what. So yes, I’m a little embarrassed I freaked out so, but for the past 7 weeks and for the next 6-7 months, I will blame hormones. And you will all just have to understand. 😉
And no one understands more than Don, who is amazing. I know everyone says their husband/wife is the best, and I think that yes, they are all wonderful and the best for you, just like Don is the best for me. I could not be luckier. And to have our family and our friends be so wonderfully generous to offer help that’s not necessary for months and to make promises to calm me down, is just amazing. I am definitely feeling the love.
I have found ways the past couple of days to make myself relish in the idea of why having twins is going to be amazing. And not just because it has to be amazing (because what other choice do I have?) but because I’m really ready to take on all the excitement there is in having two kids at once, who will most likely be best friends for life.
I think growing up with an older sister and younger brother was great. I loved that my sister would experience everything first and then tell me what not to do; however, there was also the downside that whatever she did my parent’s later didn’t like, was then an opportunity lost for me. But for the most part she helped me grow up and made me feel special for a lot of years, especially in highschool when I needed that someone to make me feel less lonely and more known. And then having a younger brother was great because as my sister grew up, I could still be a kid with him and then teach him everything he needed to know. He was also the baby and the only boy, so he pretty much could get away with murder, which made me crazy jealous. But being the middle child was kinda great and is something I’m proud to have survived! 😉
My twins won’t experience something like that. They will; however, possess a deeper love and automatically know they have a friend who will be braving the same exact things at the same exact times. They’ll start school together, they’ll learn to drive together, etc., etc., and they will never have to feel lonely. They will have this amazing bond with someone who no one else could possibly understand. In fact, it was something I never understood or thought of until a dear doctor friend of mine explained to me this amazing bond that twins seem to have. And I just never looked at it like how lucky it would be to have that non-identical mirror image of someone who is not only a friend, but blood, to experience life with at the same time.
And on a selfish note, there’s the idea that when we’re done with diapers, we’re done with diapers. The same for formula and the crying fits in the middle of the night. We just have to go through a few years of this and then Don and I are home free! (This is where all the Mom’s of adult children laugh and say “oh no honey, you’re just getting started!”) But the beginning, hardest parts of being a new parents is not something we have to spread out over the course of 6 years like most parents of single kids do. And I love to shop, so oddly enough, window shopping on amazon.com and putting things on a wish list, has been kinda fun for me lately. It gets me excited to relish at all the cute baby items even if I do need two of everything. And the biggest confidence builder has been Don, promising me that we will always be okay and that we will always get through whatever it is that seems hard. I can sometimes over-worry (hello Slesnick gene) but Don has made such a good life for us now that I know he will continue to bring that force when our family is complete.
So I’m okay, we’re okay, and life is good. Pregnancy thus far has agreed very well with me. Just extremely tired but hey, it’s an excuse to nap. And speaking of which….