Ever since I was a child I knew I wanted to be a mom. I never saw myself married. I didn’t even know if I wanted to get married. I figured I would just be one of those randomly rich women who ordered in dinner every night and somehow became a mom with the use of fertility treatments and/or adoption. Being a mom was a must, not an option for me, even if a husband wasn’t involved. Obviously, marriage took me by surprise (no joke) and Ruby cemented the storybook family. I just wish someone had prepared me for being a mom. And no, I’m not talking about the late nights, early mornings or any sad baby cries in between. I’m talking about all the amazing moments that occur, period.
I have had more than a handful of friends and relatives recently become moms and dads. And sadly, I have heard how tough some of them have had it with their newborns (going so far as to say that they wish they hadn’t become a parent, or that it took them to having a baby to realize how much they didn’t like babies). I’ve always liked babies and always pictured mothering one, so I felt prepared in the way of not being afraid to be a mom – even though I’ve heard it to be tough. And really, it took only about a week or so for me to get used to this major, major jolt that took place in our life. Once I became acquainted to my lack of sleep, I was used to this sweet, needy little creature who continues to take my breath away on a daily basis.
My days are not amazing-amazing, but they very good and mostly never-ending. They really all run together into one, very long day. I “wake” when Don has to start getting ready for work at 7am. Ruby and I lounge in bed until she needs her first “morning” bottle and we move our pj party downstairs for breakfast and couch snuggles before getting dressed for the day. Admittedly, I shower less. Sue me. I bought some very nice perfume, so I have that going for me. If Ruby will let me put her down, I do a load of dishes, which really only entails the 20 or so bottles we go through every 2 days. I seriously had no idea how many pieces of bottleware I would be washing. Funnnnnnnnnnn. Sigh. I also try to get in a load of baby clothes/burb cloths/blankets every 2 days. With Ruby being so little we only have so many clothing items that fit her. Sweet, itty-bitty baby. Then it’s lunch time and sometimes Don comes home from work to eat with us or the two of us girls go to visit Grandma and Grandpa and eat with them. Or we have a girl’s day out shopping, like we plan to have tomorrow, with mommy’s friend Annie and Ruby’s friend, Madeline. Then it’s home to make dinner before Don gets home from work, dine together, watch tv together, clean the house a bit while my hands are free to do so since Don’s home to hold the sweet gem and then it’s upstairs where we get to hear Don snore himself to sleep. That’s when the two of us girls hang out in bed, snuggling until Ruby is asleep enough to be put down in the Mamaroo for at least 2-3 hours at a time so mommy can catch some sleep. It’s broken sleep, which is HARD, but always so worth it. Always. And then the next morning, it starts all over. Does it sound boring? Because it’s not… not one bit. And this is why:
Hello cute baby that I get to put into ridiculously cute outfits, all.day.long. And not only that, but you make these noises that are kinda like sighs of relief and/or pure joy the second a new bottle hits your lips to settle your cries. And I was responsible for that. And then you take these sweet, heavy breaths through your nose to rest while you eat, except it makes this noise like a kitten purring. And when I gently touch your face, you’ll quickly move your tiny hand to my finger and grab hold for dear life – clinging as if you’re making sure I don’t go anywhere. Then your eyes will open and close, and open again just so I can have another look and guess – will they be blue? Brown? Or something in between just to confuse the hell out of your mom and dad? I mostly love when you cry for daddy but settle the second I pick you up. You hear my voice or listen to my heartbeat as I put your head to my chest and all is right in your world. Mommy has saved another day. I love calling your pacifier a binky and have you hold it like you’re holding a microphone. Sometimes you stick your thumb in the binky hole, so it looks like you’re sucking your thumb. Could anything be cuter? Simply – no.
So yes, I love being a mom. I love all that it has to offer. Maybe I’m still in a flood of exhaustion and hormones, but I really only see the good that this mommy thing has going on. I can’t wait to see where life continues to take us… all I know is that I love spending my days with my new partner in crime. She is just the best. And I am just that happy.